TEEN DATING VIOLENCE

SA – It is unfortunate that in South Africa, partner-on-partner violence is more prevalent than in any other country. As a result, one-third of young girls experience abuse and violence in their first relationships as teenagers.

This type of dating violence tends to occur when one partner wants to exert power and control over the other, and both boys and girls can fall victim to it. Shockingly, for one in three young people, their first love introduces physical, emotional, or sexual abuse.

THE FACTS
Studies have revealed alarming facts about teen and young adult relationships that require immediate attention.

• Shockingly, relationships usually begin at age 14 or even younger, and a third of 11 to 12-year-olds have already been in a relationship.
• Sex is considered to be part of a relationship for 11 to 14-year-olds, and 25% of girls have reported being pressured into performing sexual acts.
• Furthermore, 25% of girls have been subjected to repeated verbal abuse, and dating violence happens in about 30% of all relationships.
• It is crucial to note that young people aged 12 to 19 experience the highest rates of rape and sexual assault.
• The age group of 16 to 24 is most susceptible to dating violence and over 90% of the victims of violence in relationships are female.

Teenagers change 
Cultural norms, socioeconomic factors, and unequal power dynamics contribute to the complexity of this issue, making it crucial to address through comprehensive education, support services, and policy interventions.

Teenagers experience a great deal of change as they transition out of childhood and begin dating. This can make them seem impossible to reach or connect with, but that is when they need strong guidance the most.

One of the saddest realities is that dating violence (physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, or digital abuse) is more common than we think, especially among adolescents. Even if they seem unapproachable, teens report listening to their parents more than anyone else, so prevention efforts must begin there.

DE-ROMANTICISE THE RED FLAGS OF ABUSE
Media can and has romanticised things like intense jealousy, passionate fighting, and excessive displays of affection too early in a relationship - these have all been identified as early signs of an abusive relationship.
It is crucial to recognise and de-romanticise the red flags of abuse, as they can often be misrepresented or glorified in media and popular culture.

• Intense jealousy
  Instead of viewing intense jealousy as a sign of passion or love, it is essential to understand that jealousy, to an extreme degree, can be controlling behaviour.
  
  It is not a flattering testament to someone’s affection; rather it often indicates insecurity, possessiveness, and a lack of trust.
  
  Healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and mutual support, not on controlling or monitoring each other’s every move.
   
• Passionate fighting
  While conflicts are natural in any relationship, romanticising intense or frequent arguments as a sign of passion is misleading.
  
  Constant fighting can be emotionally draining and destructive, leading to a toxic cycle of tension and reconciliation.
  
  Healthy communication involves respectful dialogue, active listening, and finding constructive solutions rather than resorting to aggression or manipulation.
   
• Love bombing
  Excessive displays of affection, gifts, or compliments early in a relationship may seem flattering initially, but they can also be manipulative tactics used to establish control and dependency quickly.
  
  Love bombing often masks deeper insecurities and intentions to isolate and manipulate the partner.
  
  Genuine love and affection develop gradually and are based on mutual respect, trust, and compatibility.

Dating abuse can lead to low self-esteem, depression, suicidal thoughts, drug or alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and risky sexual behaviour for the victim.

Promoting awareness of healthy relationship behaviours and fostering open dialogue about consent, boundaries, and respect are essential steps in preventing and addressing abuse in all its forms.

Mike Bolhuis, specialist investigators into serious violent, serious economic crimes and serious cybercrimes press release extracts